it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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