Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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