glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
