Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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