Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
