What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
