bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
