There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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