Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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