White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
