I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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