i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
