Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
