I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
