I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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