12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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