and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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