Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
