I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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