i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
