is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
