seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
