first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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