This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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