Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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