i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
