Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
