You made me cry and you don't even care
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize