Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you still have your period?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
