what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
