What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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