I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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