Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
