I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
