I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
