I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
