If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Boobs are out for the taking
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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