She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I need moral support for this bender
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
