just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
