do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize