Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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