please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
