We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
