I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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