Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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