.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
