Will you blow on my dice?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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