Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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