Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
