I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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