____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
barbara walters just said penis...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
