Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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