I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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