I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
