Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
