i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
