when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
