It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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