I wish I could punch you in the face.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
