I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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